What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

Is the Donald Trump Bible any different from a regular Bible? Has Trump altered its contents?

Make Nazis afraid again!

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

What's an uncomfortable truth you've learned to accept?

TEXT:

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

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Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

What questions are asked in a JP Morgan Hirevue interview?

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

J.K. Rowling said that 65% of people in Britain are transgender. Where did she come up with that statistic?

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

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Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

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¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

Why cant school buses ditch kids who are late to the bus at the school? Like on the way home, if a kid is late when all the others arrived to the bus on time, why cant they leave the late kid behind since its not fair to the on time kids to wait?

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

Why is my ex still keeping in touch with me even though she dumped me?

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

How many boxes 600 x 400 x 200 go into a 20ft container?

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

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And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.